Consequences of getting into relationships by…See more

What are the consequences of starting a new relationship before you are over your old one?

In my case, I just wasn’t fully present in the new relationship. We got along well and enjoyed each other’s company, but my enthusiasm in the bedroom was pretty limited. I continued to have both tender and lustful feelings about the other woman. After a while, my new girlfriend realized that something was up and I had to explain to her that I still wasn’t over this earlier person. She was patient with me for a while, but our relationship just wasn’t moving forward and she finally gave me an ultimatum, which I don’t blame her for.

A few years have passed and I’m now at peace with it. The first woman had emotional issues and didn’t treat me very well (indeed, she told me that this was a pattern for her with other men). The second one ended up moving away because of her career, and I doubt I would have wanted to go with her, back to a state that I had deliberately left.

I’m not saying that you SHOULDN’T date in this situation. In fact, I knew someone who found her future husband RIGHT after a bad breakup with a long-term boyfriend. The new guy pursued her and she warned him that she might not be ready, but they went for it and it worked out. In her case, while she might not have been emotionally over the previous relationship, she was 100% over the guy himself.