A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train.

After the initial embarrassment they both go to sleep, the man on the top bunk, the woman on the lower.

In the middle of the night the man leans over, wakes the woman and says, “I’m sorry to bother you, but I’m awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly get me another blanket?”

The woman leans out and, with a glint in her eye, says, ” I have a better idea, just for tonight, let’s make pretend that were married.”

The man says happily, “OK!” AWESOME!”

The woman says, “GOOD …. get your own darn blanket!!!”

The blonde wife came home from her first day commuting into the city.
Her husband noticed she was looking a little peaked and asked, “Honey, are you feeling all right?”

“Not really,” she replied. “I’m nauseated from sitting backward on the train.”

“Poor dear,” he said. “Why didn’t you ask the person sitting across from you to switch seats for a while?”

“I couldn’t,” she replied, “there was no one there.”

Lady: Is this my train?
Station Master: No, it belongs to the Railway Company.

Lady: Don’t try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to New Delhi.

Station Master: No Madam, I’m afraid it’s too heavy.

A blond guy and a brunette girl were happily married and about to have a baby.
One day, the wife started having contractions, so the husband rushed her to the hospital.

He held her hand as she went through a trying birth. In the end, there were two little baby boys.

The blond guy turned to his wife and angrily said, “All right, who’s the other father!?”

Two little boys, one blond, one with brown hair, were arguing over whose father could beat the other’ up.
The brown-haired kid said, “My father is way better than yours.”

The blond came back, “Maybe, but my mother is better than yours.”

“That’s what my father says.”